Santa Makes House Call 10 Days Early
Getting ready to move into a brand-new home presents many headaches if one doesn’t have much experience in this exciting endeavor. What do you save? What do you throw out? What do you give to the kids? Should you have a big garage sale?
We pondered some of these questions while putting out the Christmas dishes and packing up the everyday ones that will be transferred to our new home, which luckily is less than five miles away.
Right after the rain stopped Saturday around noon the doorbell rang. There stood a rotund elderly gentleman with a white beard that looked like he could have fallen off of the Southern Pacific freight train, except that he was well groomed and smelled like chocolate chip cookies.
“I saw that “For Sale” sign in front of your house and was wondering if the two grand daughters that usually spend the night before Christmas with you folks will be here or at the new house on the other side of town?” he asked.
The question came quite unexpected as we blurted out, “We plan on spending Christmas right here.” The old man thanked us and walked to a waiting car. As he struggled to get into the front seat, he dropped a piece of paper, but the car took off before we could get their attention.
We unfolded the paper and to our surprise it contained the following:
RETIRED HOUSTON ASTROS ICON CRAIG BIGGIO—Another big thank you from the millions of fans for playing the game of baseball the way it was intended and hustling on every play.
MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL COMMISSIONER BUD SELIG—A big broom and a case of Lysol so he can continue cleaning up the sport we still wish refer to as our national pastime.
WEST ORANGE-STARK HEAD FOOTBALL COACH DAN HOOKS—A lifetime contract in hopes that he will continue to coach the Mustangs for many years to come.
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS—The Prestige Award for being the first team in NFL history with at least 12 victories in five consecutive seasons.
SUNSET GROVE GOLFER CRAIG COUVILLION—A Wienie Thermometer with the Oscar Mayer link at the 55-degree mark so when the outside temperature is below that mark, he wienies out of the scheduled golf match with his favorite punching bag.
FORMER ASTROS PITCHER ROGER CLEMENS—A torn-up ticket to Cooperstown thanks to him being linked to steroid use in last week’s Mitchell Report. Being eighth on the all-time list with 354 career victories–the winningest pitcher alive–all may be for naught because the Hall of Fame is a reward. And people who cheat don’t get rewarded. Now he’ll get a taste of what Pete Rose got for breaking the rules.
ORANGE SAVINGS BANK RECEPTIONIST BECKY GRANT—The Miss Versatility Award for being a bubbly greeter of customers walking into the bank, giving helpful assistance on the telephone and just looking good behind her desk.
HOUSTON TEXANS DEFENSIVE LINEMAN MARIO WILLIAMS—A form letter accepting apologies from the millions of “sports experts” who bad-mouthed him and said he was very over-rated for the Texans selecting him over the often-injured Reggie Bush and the now-mediocre Vince Young. Williams is currently the franchise sack leader with 171/2.
SUNSET GROVE PRO SHOP EMPLOYEE LOU REINA—A button to wear stating that Tiger Woods is Really Good!!!
FORMER DALLAS COWBOY EMMITT SMITH—A larger trophy case for his latest piece of hardware for recently being named the Florida Prep Player of the Century by the Florida High School Athletic Association. Smith set records during his high school days while leading Pensacola Escambia High School to a pair of state football championships.
FORMER HOUSTON ASTROS PITCHERS ANDY PETTITTE AND ROGER CLEMENS—An unwritten understanding of why they left their hometown Houston Astros team and hot-footed it to the Big Apple—there was nobody in Houston willing to inject steroids into their hineys like there was in New York.
DALLAS COWBOYS—A search party to find the missing Doomsday for their defense that propelled them to so many Super Bowls in the past and will be necessary if they are fortunate enough to face the New England Patriots on Feb. 3. It seems to disappear every December.
HOUSTON ASTROS NEW GENERAL MANAGER ED WADE—A statue of a beaver because he has been so busy wheeling and dealing. He has already brought in 15 new players, despite being on the job for less than three months.
MCNEESE DEFENSIVE END BRYAN SMITH—Congrats for being named to the
Associated Press Football Championship Subdivision All-America team. The Newton native should play at the next level after the upcoming NFL draft.
HOUSTON TEXANS HEAD COACH GARY KUBIAK—A blue ribbon for out-coaching his mentor Mike Shanahan before a national audience in their first regular-season meeting when the Texans whipped the Denver Broncos 31-13 last Thursday. Kubiak was Shanahan’s offensive coordinator for 11 seasons in Denver.
SUNSET GROVE GOLFER BOB HOOD—A Computerized Fishing Forecaster that gives the tides, flow of the water, expected wind direction and speed, the best time of the day to fish and where the birds and the big fish are located.
FORMER ATLANTA QUARTERBACK MICHAEL VICK—Living proof of how to go from a starting millionaire NFL quarterback to an inmate who has lost his good name, job, endorsements and his freedom by hanging around with the wrong “homies” during the off-season.
LAMAR UNIVERSITY-BEAUMONT—Re-incarnation of the football program that was suddenly dropped in 1989. The key to re-starting the program will be a positive vote on the referendum by the present student body to add a fee to full-time students’ tuition that would go to the Cardinals’ athletic department.
FORMER HOUSTON ASTROS INFIELDERS ADAM EVERETT AND MIKE LAMB—A tale of two old pals still together on a new team after both former Astros signed as free agents with the Minnesota Twins within a 24-hour period last week. And both players have a real good chance to be starters for the Twins.
NBC COMEDIAN JAY LENO—Nerve enough to cross picket lines of the striking writers and get those 1990’s reruns off the air.
NEW HOUSTON ASTROS SLUGGER MIGUEL TEJADA—The Good Company Award for being the fourth-best home run hitting shortstop in major league history, behind only Ernie Banks, Cal Ripkin, Jr. and Alex Rodriguez.
DAYTON HEAD FOOTBALL COACH JERRY STEWART—A light bulb to go off above his head so he will realize what a great idea it is for his Broncos to begin each high school football season playing West Orange-Stark. That loss has inspired his players to rip through District 22-4A and advance far into the state playoffs for the past couple of seasons. He should re-think his decision to drop the Mustangs from his pre-district schedule because that loss is the best motivation his team could receive.
HOUSTON TEXANS BACK-UP QUARTERBACK SAGE ROSENFELS—A trophy for being on of the NFL’s most productive understudies, leading his team to a 3-0 record as a starter for injured Matt Schaub. If Houston can get a wild card berth, Rosenfels will be one of the big reasons.
SUNSET GROVE GOLF PRO JEFF COOPER—Life-sized cutouts of himself so he can be at more than one place at a time, like some members insist of him.
FORMER NFL QUARTERBACK JOE NAMATH—The Dream Come True Award for receiving a Bachelor of Arts degree in interdisciplinary studies Saturday from Alabama University. Broadway Joe quit school in 1964 to become a pro football great and completed the remaining 30 hours for his degree during the past five years.
2008 HOUSTON ASTROS—Botox for the complete facelift new General Manager Ed Wade has given the team, leaving only five players from the 2005 World Series team (Roy Oswalt, Lance Berkman, Brad Ausmus, Wandy Rodriguez and Brandon Backe).
MIAMI DOLPHINS—A Dump the Dolphins Fire Sale by owner Wayne Huizenga to real estate developer prospects Jorge Perez of Miami and New York builder Stephen Ross, who are looking at the deal “very, very seriously,” especially now that Miami has a one-game winning streak.
AND A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO Jeff Thomas, Johnny Montagne, Les Jones, Ronnie Hutchison, Gene Harrison, Pierre De la Fosse, Chris Trout, Macy Dubose, Gwen Whitehead, Troy Manuel, Missy Pillsbury, John Prather, Brad Prejean, John Morris, Larry Moerbe, Judy Arnaud, Dick Slaby, Tom Toal, Steve Betz, Harrison Vickers, Steve Sepulvado, Jerry Windham, Roy Woods, Rodney Barrett, Chuck Baldwin, Larry Ancelot, Bobby Nelson, Carl Sanders, Ruby Pickard, Joe Hawthorn, David Thompson, James Denmon, Mike King, Durwood Bennett, Bob Cockerill, Chris Allen, Matt Morgan, Dixie Trahan, Doug Patterson, Mike Shuff, Jim King, Andy Bogoyas, Claude Wimberly, Dale Thompson, Alex Morrow, John Cochran, Todd Moody, Lou Reina, Autry Thibodeaux, Bart Corder, Roy Peterson, Jimmy Givens, Jimmy Sichko, Mickey McNamara, Ken Ruane, Arthur Turner, Joe Murphy, Walter Cox, David Ess, John Dubose, Ken Ballard, Lacy Gunn, Mark Williams, Gary Cook, Bobby Eddings, Tommy Gunn, Lee Clark, Jim Rodda.
Joe Ely, Trez Sichko, Allen Beauchamp, Wanda Peveto, Larry Duhon, David Sand, Milton Newton, Mike Parish, Robert Baca, Jim Brown, Paul Pope, Betty Jo Spence, Mark Hebert, John Toomey, Beth Baas, Stacy Hoffpauir, Tina Lawrence, Tammy Torrez, Derry Dunn, Mike Shahan, Wes Duvall, James Welch, James Vidrine, Bob Hollier, Ken St. John, David Bridges, Jim Matthews, Tommy Reed, Sandra Hall, Ruth Crawley, Raquel Goodboddie, Jajemi Plut, V.L. Grimes, David Loden, Brian Waguespack, Manuel Godina, Joseph Droddy, Wayne Baker, James Thurman, Ray Benoit, Windy Blair, Don Olivier, Jerry Ling, Brenda Buxton, Regina Edwards, Frank Hatton, Willow Simpson, Kathy Gunn, Earl Verrett, Bill Dunn, Darby Byrd, Cochise Shockley, Wade Gillet, Jerry McDonald, Jerry Pennington, Chrisleigh Dal Sasso, Stephen Patterson.
Lindsey Nelson, Bobby Ham, Leo Labauve, Dan Perrine, Billy Burrow, Dan Cochran, Ken Bridgers, George Crawford, Michelle Broussard, Jim Simon, Jack McClelland, Scottie Wilson, Willie Bednar, James Lopez, Dennis Powell, Bobby Duhon, Carlos Vacek, Roy Locks, George Toal, Mike Lucia, Jim Dunaway, Jack Tindel, Ray Pousson, Jim Ehlert, Claude Hamerly, Mike Mazzola, Faye Parish, Gilbert Myers, Johnny Dugas, Gary Humberson, Yankee Mortimer, Pat Murphy, Leo Simpson, Mike McKown, Clint Hathaway, Jerry Decker, Mike Holbrook, Lee Roy Boehme, Jr., Jerry Ann Trouard, Jimmy Boyd, Donnie Mires, Sam Collins, Larry Hammett, Tom Day, Bryan McKinley, Junior Trahan, Donny Ratcliff, Joe Marks, Don Lormand, Robert Dunn, Bernie Birk, Robert Roesler, Wayne Iles, Leonard Mosca, Raymond Guilbeaux, Jim Malcolm, David Benoit.
Travis Clark, Martha Rogers, Robert Burris, Jerry Caillier, Ricky Parker, John Scofield, Newt Thayer, Vern Campbell, Carol Perry, Kenny Lalonde, Roy Simar, David Cardner, Bo Robertson, Mike Catt, Pete Runnels, Russell Bottley, James Luna, Ray Jones, Preston Prince, David Teague, Wayland Payne, Carl Floyd, Skip Moore, Pete Sterling, Danny Aaron, Brian Murphy, Montie Moran, Sheri Lapeyrolerie, Cary Bresie, Pat Key, Ray Zalewski, Jerry Howeth, Pat Monogue, Phillip Brown, Homer Stuntz, Andrew Hayes, Linda Moore, Glen Oliver, Earl Nugent, Lennie Dauphine, Shea Brown, Bob Byerly, Jerry Hughes, Bart Williams, Brooks Hill, Janet Newton, Benis Lee, Jim Keith, Lynn Smith, Ebb Moore, Steve Pomeroy, Jerrod Bland, Mac Rogers, Frank Finchum, Charles Broussard, Mike Schrieber, Joe Doucet, J.B. Arrington, Harold Tiller, Dennis Lee.
Dennis Bishop, Gus Beuershausen, Leon Delome, Jim Cloud, Grant Gipson, Jeep Colburn, Jerry Nichols, Kevin Hebert, Brian Mingle, Oscar Smith, Joe Parkhurst, Doug Rogers, Tony Dal Sasso, Pete Gresham, Charlie Miller, Joe Alford, Chris Gunn, Ed Dyer, Bill Bromley, Ace Amodeo, Jim Pruter, Mike Bernard, Ken Wernig, Roland Gregorie, John Tate, Hal LaPray, Bob Campbell, Roderick Robertson, Buddy Hahn, Manuel Solis, Earl Parker, Neil Watts, John Martinez, Terry Childers, Joan Quartermont, Jeff Mathews, Tiffany Rochelle, Dempsie Jaynes, Doug Mellen, Randy Brown, Clay Dugas, Ellis Boyd, Glenn “Smoothie” Earle, Ron Cowling, Richard Corder, Billy Bayliss, Andre Robertson, Del Basinger, Billy Permenter, David Montagne, Earl Collier, Dewey Scott, Robert Tywater, Louise Savoy, Mike Poutra, Sandy Sanford, John Cash Smith, Mary Beth Benoit, Jimmy Verrett, Russell Cronin, Richard Turkel, Rodney Townsend, Homer Stark.
David Dunn, Cecil Byers, John Fuss, Jimmy Owens, Margaret Broussard, Ollie Halten, Waymon Sibley, Rufus Flurry, Aaron Burke, Kris Olsen, Joe Grossman, Wayne Sparrow, David Hoelzer, James Bloodworth, Ron Roberts, Mike Hoke, Mike Hebert, Tim Hughes, Phillip Madar, Myrt Myers, Lou Garriga, Becky Grant, J.W. “Kid” Henry, Vicki Landry, Gene Steele, Ken Reeves, Jimmy Ray Burris, Brenda Morgan, Robert Mortimer, Jody Gray, Mark Williams, Chris Hyde, Clifford Bray, Glen LaFleur, Todd Marburgh, Dawn Collins, Stacy Caillavet, John Broussard, Greg Choate, Dave Walsh, Williard Lanier, Calvin Collins, Greg Smith, Jerome Wilkerson, Joyce Prescott, Keith Hogan, David Piland, Andy Conner, Lana Stogner, Kevin Philen, Vernon Davis, David Hollier, John Lister, Anthony Padilla, Erin Godina, Greg Turbeville, Danny Blacksher, Terry Myers, Mel Hyatt, Curt Leger, George Nevarez, Patrick Toomey, Brad Gilmore, Larry Fisher.
Gary Pollock, Sandy Walker, Anita Vidrine, Bud Martin, Natalie Simon, Jerry Meads, Gary Mainero, Steve Taylor, Richard Scott, Lisa Dies, Darrow Judge, Mark Netherly, Barbara Hayes, Derrick Jones, Dale Peddy, Todd Hoffpauir, Terry Steubing, Donna Evans, Teresa Schreck, David Davis, Shirley Walker, Larry Woods, Warren Landry, Steve Champion, Rex Ansley, Connie Burnitt, Greg Willis, Pat Anglin, George Baker, Henry Seals, Ken Armstrong, Steve Issacs, James Blair, Troy Burton, Homer Stockton, Vic Arceneaux, Rick Keszeg, Don Burgess, Tommy Carroll, Mary Louise McKee, Barbara Bergeron, Paula Legate, Connie Lemaire, Debbie Perry, Scott Swearingen, Camilla Richard, Phyllis McCall, Brandon Prouse, Steve Griffith, Carolyn Schramm, Jessie West, C.A. Keasler, Bryce Conner, Betty Merchant, Ronnie Moody, John Young, Kay Morris, Jim Dwight, George Mortimer, Larry Willette, Blake Morrison, Leon King, Hughie Allen, John Rowland, Leon Evans, Preston Fuller, Karl Eason, Jim Mouton, Brad Gilmore, Bret Johns, B.J. Morgan.
Bob Campbell, Louis Manuel, Richard Doggett, Richard Roddy, Sandy Turner, Ralph Barrientos, Shea Simon, Chris Cartwright, Sam Lucia, Jack Jones, Shirley “Fuzz” Ware, Gary Ware, Virgil Ingram, Warren Claybar, Charlie Greenwell, J.C. Sea, John Hardin, Gene Tannehill, Anne Foster, Matt Murphy, Mike Collins, Sam Hudson, Aubrey Welch, Virgie Thomas, Charlotte Guillory, Elray Henson, Marilyn Malvo, Chad Havens, Wendy Rost, Josh Smalley, Art Mason, Mike Reed, Ray Tilley, Keith Doucet, Chad Bryant, Ronald Enard, Hugh Granger, Nelson Derrick, Sandy Cooper, Toby Foreman, Gary Thibodeaux, Stephen Lee, Darby Byrd,
Doug Posey, Joe Burke, Rick Sand, Joe Raburn, Wallace Culps, Angie Simar, Bryant Calcote, Wayne Lowe, Connie Powell, Jack Horton, Tony Perry, Mark McCall, Rose Sanders, Joy Haney, Bruce Savoy, Becky Rhoden, Heath Martin, Ed Freiberg, Torry Shroff, George Sepulvado, Johnny Dorman, Ronnie Puckett, Brenda Campbell, Lori Thompson, Madge Rogers, Travis Ashworth, Ray Herman, Jeremy Green, Harry Sharpless, Ronnie Puckett, Bobbie Murphy, Jill Williams, Brandon Seaman, Richard Terry, Kyle Walker, Quincy Procell, John Gradnigo, Judy Lowe, Richard Porter, Weldon Gibson, Joyce Drake, Jim Rawls, Bill Nicholas, Mark Berton, Ray Dal Sasso, Jack Couvillion, Mickey Bergeron, Pat Clark, Mary Guillory.
Jonathan Vandagriff, David Haney, Ron McPherson, Gene McCormick, Susan Bailey, Delle Bates, Gerald Beach, Ray Montagne, Jim Dawes, Carl Thibodeaux, Travis Keller, Paul Mott, Kermit Richard, Charles Blalack, Dick Alexander, Jeff Dalton, Craig Corder, Dooney Williams, Roland Wolfford, Dave Maddox, Robin Brooks, Shirley Almazan, Buddy Withrow, Paul Vaughan, Vernon Myers, Billy Denham, Clyde Davis, Bob Brown, Jerry Childress, Laurie Modisette, Bob Baptista, Stewart Olive, Jay Brown, David Williams, Russell Covington, Jerry Montgomery, Judith Perkins, Art Olschefski, Harold Gross, Russell Turkel, Larry Fisher George Poutra, Steve Pesek, Charles Liggio, John Garrett, Brown Claybar, Larry Warner, Shelby May, Dickie Colburn, Joe Barrios, Virgis Benoit, Dwight Bickham.
David Claybar, J.L. Vincent, Ron Theriot, Ross Smith, Dave Pederson, Peggy Vincent, Max Pachar, George Millsap, Jerome Standley, Sleepy Smith, Gwen Barton, Ron Sigler, Pat Brown, James Sanders, B.K. Ware, Leonard Brown, Billy Shults, Bo Brannick, Alicia Hebert, Reanna Morris, Bill Tillman, Ronnie Rost, Gay Richardson, Jim Turpin, Kelly Alford, Alan Whipkey, Jane Dunn, Ann Lieby, John Harrell, Joe Luna, Max Staudt, Jessie Whitehead, Sweet Charlotte Tucker, Jim Graves, Jeff Wheatley, Moe Litton, Jack White, Glenn Hill, Maurice Mueschke, Bill Vann, Billy Paul Withrow, Tommy Ewing, Joe Davis, James Fontenot, Carroll Holt, Shane Johns, John Broussard, Denise Himel, Pat Fountain, Sid Caillavet, Paul Patin.
Dennis Duhon, Jim Miller, Jimmy Sattler, Rodney Dove, Lawrence Hunt, Eddie Faulk, Jesse Gunstream, Cornel Thompson, Sam Kittrell, Dick Behnke, Huel Fontenot, Paul Lorimer, Ronnie Burton, Mike Lovett, Robert “Woody” Wood, Vicky Walters, Leroy Breedlove, Mike White, Frank Skeeler, Dick Graves, Roy Holbrook, Bonnie Mingle, John Kimbrough, Wayne Peveto, Gene Alsandor, Bubba Lanning, Wayne Morris, Dale LeBlanc, Nelson Broussard, Sammy Owens, Heath Mouton, Harold Fuqua, Roger Hall, Joe Peery, Bob Hood, James Rigler, Robert Sims, Dexter Bassinger, Bill Modisette, Mark Oldham, Mackey Clasby, Vernon Collier, Michael Arnaud, Jay Ayers, Jeanette Cleaver, Randy Arnaud, Adolph Hryhorchuk, Ray Burch, Gerhard Hommel, Preston Conway, Jimmy Willis, David Payne.
Jimmy Sims, Joe Ware, Roy Dunn, Mark Dunn, Debbie Fusilier, Penny Leleux, Les Patin, Debbie Buckalew, Rod Fisette, Ricky Trahan, Melinda Gipson, Jet Toohey, James Stringer, Alan Sanders, John Cooper, Glenn Toohey, Sam Lucia, Betty Derrick, Lon Craft, Margaret Peeples, John DiBatiste, Mike Abbott, Ivan Cain, Dave Field, Carl Himel, Earl Geis, Mike Leonard, Jack Burney, Brandon Landry, Randy Crouch, Ray Rogers, Gary Stelly, Pat Johnson, Andy Allen, Ray Conner, Bob Shinn, Keith Staudt, Louis McIntire, Fred Zoch, Troy Burke, Bubba Brown, Johnny Trahan, Becky Grant, Jack Alexander, Robert Query, Steve Mazzola, Tim Bonnin, Jay James, DeWitt Gipson, John Griffith, Howard Nelson, Randy Jarrell, Jimmy Jones, Joe Payne, Donald Moss, Tommy Melton, Doug Nelms, Cecil Sylvester, Roy Knolley, Annabelle Stringer, Wade Smith, Shea Brown, Sam Ambers, John Raughton, Pat Leverne, James Scott, Ann Harner, Sam Daggett, Jenny Taylor, Tommy Nobles, John Crawford, Jim Gordon, Jim Colley, Dennis Doggett, Sue Rathburn, Keith Lyons, Wayne Franklin, Mandy Rogers, Terry Landry, Albert Gore, Betsy Phillips, Trent Cooper, James Ray, Mike Hughes, Mark Magnuson, Gary Mulhollan, Miles Hall, Bobby Tanner, Jason Gipson, Jade Saucier, Georgia Corder, Ron Logan, Jimmy Hooker, Ken Manuel, Don Harmon, Sanford Lummus, Mary Frances Hartley, Hunter Sheridan, Lewis Sims, Van Wade.
And a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS for anyone I may have missed, especially you, my loyal readers who have been with Kaz’s Korner since its inception Sept. 12, 1966.