The Record Newspapers - Hometown News For Orange County, Texas

While walking through the Mall last week waiting for wife Susan to buy something that I wasn’t supposed to see, I sat down at the nice rest area to wait a bit more comfortably.

I spotted Santa visiting with the excited children who were blurting out the names of different toys and games a mile-a-minute. He was listening to every word they said.

My thoughts were a mile away when Santa sauntered up to the bench where I was sitting a plopped down, like he needed a break.

“Some of the things these kids ask for amaze me,” he chuckled. “So many are asking for these “iPads” that I decided to bring one with me and find out what the attraction was with these gizmos. The more I messed with it, the more I liked it. I believe it will help me with my big night next week.”

About that time he was paged to the store where he was working and said he’d be right back and asked me to watch his “iPad” for him.

After a couple of minutes, curiosity got the best of me and I decided to sneak a peek. To my surprise he had hundreds of names with the corresponding gifts for Christmas:

LITTLE CYPRESS-MAURICEVILLE HEAD COACH RANDY CROUCH-A tall step ladder to show that the sky is the limit as his Bears continue to progress step-by-step, getting more wins each year, making the playoffs for the first time in a while this season and are ready to win a district championship in the very near future.

SUNSET GROVE GOLFER AND DISTANCE RUNNER KEN RUANE—A shirt with “Marathon Man” emblazoned across the front, tipping off the competition that he plans on continuing to win every race in his age division (72) that he enters.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS HEAD COACH SEAN PAYTON—Proof that he is worth every penny of his NFL’s highest salary by returning his Saints to their winning ways and competing for the top spot in the NFC South Division after a year’s absence due to being suspended by the league for his part in the bounty fiasco.

HOUSTON ASTROS OWNER JIM CRANE—A huge banner to hang in his office stating the old adage “It Takes Money to Make Money” to help change his thinking about trying to operate a major league baseball franchise on a paltry $21 million shoestring budget.

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS TWO-TIME ALL-PRO SAFETY EARL THOMAS—His third straight trip to the Pro Bowl with the addition of being named the NFL’s Most Valuable Defensive Player of the Year. His stats through 14 games—5 interceptions, 93 tackles and 72 solo stops—should quality the Orange native for that honor.

TEXAS LONGHORNS LAME DUCK HEAD COACH MACK BROWN—Another case of how much clout the Internet bloggers have on a person’s coaching career. The big-money supporters kept reading about getting rid of the second-winningest coach in the school’s history until they finally pressured Brown into announcing his resignation last weekend just like they did several years ago to Orange native R.C. Slocum at Texas A&M.

HOUSTON TEXANS QUARTERBACK CASE KEENUM—The Blown Opportunity Award signifying the fact he has led his team to a 0-8 record in his last eight starts at quarterback for the Texans. He continues to get progressively worse with each game as the opposition finds more and more flaws in his team leadership ability. For example in Sunday’s 25-3 loss at Indianapolis, Keenum completed 18 of 34 passes for 168 yards and had two intercepted. His quarterback rating for his effort was a paltry 42.3 and his first half rating was 21.3. He’s helping his team earn the No. 1 pick in the May NFL draft and choose his replacement at quarterback.

SUNSET GROVE GOLFER CRAIG COUVILLION—A huge box of hot dogs so he will have plenty of ammo to “wienie out’ of a planned golf game whenever the temperature falls below 60 degrees.

DALLAS COWBOYS DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR MONTE KIFFIN—His autobiography “Clueless in Big D” which points out his ineptness of devising a defense that can stop any NFL opponent. So far his hands are tied because owner Jerry Jones and his son Stephen have obtained the personnel to make the Cowboys defense the worst one in the league.

BODY WORKZ SILVER SNEAKERS INSTRUCTOR CONNIE WOODS—A visit from an Arthur Murray representative to help her add some new dance steps to our low-impact exercises.

FORMER HOUSTON TEXANS HEAD COACH GARY KUBIAK—A switchboard operator to answer the many phone calls he is expected to get from NFL teams looking for an offensive coordinator, quarterbacks coach or even a head coach. He’s a first-class guy whose services should be in demand.

HEISMAN TROPHY WINNER JAMEIS WINSTON—Documentation that the criteria for winning this award do not include anything that happens to the winner off the football field. He would not have gotten my vote if I had one.

SUNSET GROVE GOLFER BOB AND FISHERMAN BOB HOOD—The Multi-Tasking Award for being able to score well by swinging a golf club one day and then turn around and cast his fishing rod and catch a limit of fish the next day.

DALLAS COWBOYS HEAD COACH JASON GARRETT—A huge clock to hang in his office so he can study the art of clock management before he can become a successful NFL head coach. Why he won’t use running plays to eat up time when his team is leading late in the fourth quarter is a mystery. That led directly to Sunday’s 37-36 home loss to the Green Bay Packers who trailed 26-3 at halftime.

RETIRED JUDGE PAT CLARK—The Proud Father-in-Law Award after learning his son-in-law, Bruce Aven’s high school, American Heritage, where he is the assistant athletic director and head baseball coach, last weekend became the Florida Class 5A football state champion, winning by an overwhelming 66-8 score.

SUNSET GROVE GOLFER JIM RODDA—A Multi-pronged hat rack to hold the many hats he wears in a typical week of being an industrial contract worker, good golfer, Mr. Fix-it for anything that may be wrong, a loyal high school football fan that didn’t miss a game of his grandson, whose team Houston Stratford, made it all the way to the state semifinals in Class 4A and then even helped a friend buy the correct birthday gift for his wife.

WEST ORANGE-STARK HEAD COACH CORNEL THOMPSON—The Don’t Believe Everything You Read Award when the local media and statewide “Bible of High School Football” all wrote his Mustangs off as possible district champions in August because of the very few returning lettermen. However, Coach T worked his tail off getting his “Newbies” oriented to the Mustang brand of football and they responded with a 12-2 season and went as far as the Class 3A quarterfinal round.

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS HEAD COACH JIM HARBAUGH—A dozen pair of cleated football shoes to wear instead of the typical athletic coach’s shoes. He’s very superstitious about the apparel he wears during a game and the 49ers have won all four games since he switched to the football cleats.

HOUSTON TEXANS INTERIM COACH WADE PHILLIPS—A chance to remove the “interim” from his title and get the job as head coach to minimize the confusion of the upcoming transition. After all, the Orange native knows the personnel and would make next season a lot less confusing when all of the injured all-pros return to action. In addition, he has a very respectable 82-61 career record as a head NFL coach with his worst full season being 7-9.

SUNSET GROVE GOLFER RICHARD DUFFEE—The Patience of Job Award for trying several different golf clubs on the tee box for 11 months before finally getting the perfect wood thanks to the expertise of local golf club designer Chris Wright.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS HEAD COACH MIKE SHANAHAN—An empty hourglass signifying his days are numbered as the Redskins’ fearless leader.

AND A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO Mike Lemons, Archie McClelland, Mark Dunn, Jeff Thomas, Johnny Montagne, Les Jones, Ronnie Hutchison, Gene Harrison, Pierre De la Fosse, Chris Trout, Gwen Whitehead, Troy Manuel, Missy Pillsbury, John Prather, Brad Prejean, John Morris, Larry Moerbe, Judy Arnaud, Andy Conner, Tom Toal, Steve Betz, Harrison Vickers, Jerry Windham, Bill Van, Rodney Barrett, Gail Beckett, Larry Ancelot, Bobby Nelson, Carl Sanders, Matt Purgahn, David Thompson, James Denmon, Mike King, Durwood Bennett, Bob Cockerill, Chris Allen, Matt Morgan, Sid Caillavet, Doug Patterson, Mike Shuff, Jim King, Tiki Russell, Alex Morrow, John Cochran, David Benoit, Bart Corder, Roy Peterson, Jimmy Givens, Jimmy Sichko, Ken Ruane, Ron Hopperton, Joe Murphy, Walter Cox, David Ess, John Dubose, Lacy Hale, Mark Williams, Gary Cook, Bobby Eddings, Tommy Gunn, Mac Guillory, Buddy Hahn, Glynn Aldredge, Jim Rodda, Kerry Lamb, Brian Hudson, Stephen Patterson, Mike Poutra.

Joe Ely, Trez Sichko, Ella Mulhollan, Allen Beauchamp, John Patterson, Wanda Peveto, Larry Duhon, David Sand, Milton Newton, Mike Parish, Robert Baca, Jim Brown, Mark Hebert, John Toomey, Beth Baas, Stacy Hoffpauir, Tina Lawrence, Richard Duffee, Tammy Torrez, Derry Dunn, Mike Shahan, Wes Duvall, James Welch, James Vidrine, Bob Hollier, Ken St. John, David Bridges, Jim Matthews, Tommy Reed, Sandra Hall, Wayne Brint, Ruth Crawley, Raquel Goodboddie, Jajemi Plut, V.L. Grimes, David Loden, Brian Waguespack, Manuel Godina, Joseph Droddy, Wayne Baker, James Thurman, Ray Benoit, Bill Belcher, Don Olivier, Jerry Ling, Brenda Buxton, Regina Edwards, Frank Hatton, Willow Simpson, Kathy Gunn, J. D. Quarles, Wade Gillet, Jerry McDonald, Jerry Pennington, Chrisleigh Dal Sasso, Cathy Day.

Lindsey Nelson, Jim Sharon Bearden, Dan Perrine, Billy Burrow, Dan Cochran, Ken Bridgers, George Crawford, Michelle Broussard, Jim Simon, Jack McClelland, Scottie Wilson, Willie Bednar, James Lopez, Dennis Powell, Bobby Duhon, Carlos Vacek, Roy Locks, George Toal, Mike Lucia, Jim Dunaway, Jack Tindel, Ray Pousson, Jim Ehlert, Bryce Conner, Mike Mazzola, Faye Parish, Gilbert Myers, Johnny Dugas, Kathy Polansky, Yankee Mortimer, Pat Murphy, Leo Simpson, Mike McKown, Clint Hathaway, Jerry Decker, Mike Holbrook, Lee Roy Boehme, Jr., Jerry Ann Trouard, Jimmy Boyd, Donnie Mires, Bobby Swan, Larry Hammett, Tom Day, Bryan McKinley, Donny Ratcliff, Joe Marks, Don Lormand, Robert Dunn, Robert Roesler, Wayne Iles, Raymond Guilbeaux, Johnny Dugas.

Travis Clark, Martha Rogers, Robert Burris, Jerry Caillier, Harry Wood, John Scofield, Carol Perry, Kenny Lalonde, Linn Cardner, Mike Catt, Pete Runnels, Russell Bottley, James Luna, Dick Powell, Preston Prince, David Teague, Carl Floyd, Skip Moore, Pete Sterling, Brian Murphy, Montie Moran, Doug Rogers, Rick Keszeg, Cary Bresie, Scott Garvie, Pat Key, Rodney Townsend, Jerry Howeth, Phillip Brown, Homer Stuntz, Andrew Hayes, Linda Moore, Glen Oliver, Bob Byerly, Jerry Hughes, Bart Williams, Brooks Hill, Janet Newton, Benis Lee, Jim Keith, Lynn Smith, Ebb Moore, Steve Pomeroy, Jerrod Bland, Barry Thibodeaux, Frank Finchum, Charles Broussard, Sharon Bearden, Bob Hoepner, Joe Doucet, J.B. Arrington, Bill Ellison, Dana Cruse, Dennis Lee, Jerry Ann Trouard.

Dennis Bishop, Gus Beuershausen, Leon Delome, Grant Gipson, Jeep Colburn, Jerry Nichols, Kevin Hebert, Brian Mingle, Dwayne Mims, Oscar Smith, Joe Parkhurst, Pete Gresham, Charlie Miller, Joe Alford, Chris Gunn, Ed Dyer, Bill Jackson, Bill Bromley, Ace Amodeo, Mike Bernard, Ken Wernig, Roland Gregorie, Todd McLane, John Tate, Brad Gilmore, Hal LaPray, Bob Campbell, Roderick Robertson, Buddy Hahn, Mark Foreman, Manuel Solis, Earl Parker, Neil Watts, John Martinez, Terry Childers, Joan Quartermont, Jeff Mathews, Tiffany Rochelle, Dempsie Jaynes, Kyle Walker, Randy Brown, Clay Dugas, Ellis Boyd, Glenn “Smoothie” Earle, Ron Cowling, Ruth Corder, Billy Bayliss, Andre Robertson, Billy Permenter, David Montagne, Earl Collier, Dewey Scott, Robert Tywater, Louise Savoy, Darrel Latiolais, John Cash Smith, Mary Beth Benoit, Jimmy Verrett, Russell Cronin, Al Granger, Richard Turkel, Rodney Townsend, Jr., Mark Williams.

David Dunn, Cecil Byers, Bo Brannick, Jimmy Owens, Margaret Broussard, Ollie Halten, Waymon Sibley, Rufus Flurry, Aaron Burke, Kris Olsen, Wayne Sparrow, David Hoelzer, James Bloodworth, Ron Roberts, Mike Hoke, Mike Hebert, Tim Hughes, Phillip Madar, Myrt Myers, Lou Garriga, Becky Grant, J.W. “Kid” Henry, Vicki Landry, Gene Steele, Ken Reeves, Jimmy Ray Burris, Brenda Morgan, Robert Mortimer, Mark Meadows, Jody Gray, Mark Williams, Chris Hyde, Clifford Bray, Darline Zavada, Todd Marburgh, Dawn Collins, Stacy Caillavet, John Broussard, Greg Choate, Dave Walsh, Williard Lanier, Calvin Collins, Greg Smith, Jerome Wilkerson, Joyce Prescott, Keith Hogan, David Piland, Bryce Conner, Lana Stogner, Kevin Philen, Vernon Davis, David Hollier, John Lister, Anthony Padilla, Erin Godina, Greg Turbeville, Danny Blacksher, Terry Myers, Mel Hyatt, Curt Leger, George Nevarez, Patrick Toomey, Brad Gilmore, Larry Fisher.

Gary Pollock, Sandy Walker, Anita Vidrine, Bud Martin, Natalie Simon, Jerry Meads, Gary Mainero, Steve Taylor, Richard Scott, Lisa Dies, Darrow Judge, Mark Netherly, Barbara Hayes, Derrick Jones, Dale Peddy, Todd Hoffpauir, Terry Steubing, Donna Evans, Teresa Schreck, David Davis, Shirley Walker, Larry Woods, Steve Champion, Rex Ansley, Connie Burnitt, Greg Willis, Pat Anglin, George Baker, Henry Seals, Dan Mohon, Steve Issacs, James Blair, Troy Burton, Homer Stockton, Nita Duffee, Vic Arceneaux, Rick Keszeg, Don Burgess, Tommy Carroll, Mary Louise McKee, Barbara Bergeron, Paula Legate, Connie Lemaire, Debbie Perry, Scott Swearingen, Camilla Richard, Phyllis McCall, Brandon Prouse, Steve Griffith, Carolyn Schramm, Jessie West, C.A. Keasler, Betty Merchant, Ronnie Moody, John Young, Kay Morris, Jim Dwight, George Mortimer, Larry Willette, Leon King, Hughie Allen, John Rowland, Leon Evans, Preston Fuller, Karl Eason, Jim Mouton, Dean Granger, Peggy O’Leary, Brad Gilmore, Bret Johns, J.D. Willis, B.J. Morgan, Wayne Iles.

Bob Campbell, Ralf Mims, Louis Manuel, Richard Roddy, Sandy Turner, Ralph Barrientos, Shea Simon, Chris Cartwright, Sam Lucia, Jack Jones, Shirley “Fuzz” Ware, Gary Ware, Warren Claybar, Charlie Greenwell, Gary Mulhollan, J.C. Sea, John Hardin, Gene Tannehill, Anne Foster, Matt Murphy, Mike Collins, Sam Hudson, Aubrey Welch, Virgie Thomas, Charlotte Guillory, Elray Henson, Marilyn Malvo, Chad Havens, Wendy Rost, Josh Smalley, Art Mason, Mike Reed, Ray Tilley, Keith Doucet, Chad Bryant, Victor Enard, Roddy Richards, Hugh Granger, Toby Foreman, Gary Thibodeaux, Stephen Lee, Darby Byrd, David Winfrey.

Doug Posey, Jimmy Givens, Rick Sand, Joe Raburn, Wallace Culps, Angie Simar, Bryant Calcote, Wayne Lowe, Connie Powell, Jack Horton, Tony Perry, Mark McCall, Joy Haney, Bruce Savoy, Becky Rhoden, Dean Priddy, Randy Vayon, Heath Martin, Ed Freiberg, George Sepulvado, Johnny Dorman, Ronnie Puckett, Brenda Campbell, Lori Thompson, Madge Rogers, Travis Ashworth, Marty Monogue, Dave Young, Jeremy Green, Harry Sharpless, Ronnie Puckett, Bobbie Murphy, Jill Williams, Brandon Seaman, Richard Terry, Marla Zoch, Quincy Procell, John Gradnigo, Judy Lowe, Richard Porter, Bart Williams, Joyce Drake, Jim Rawls, Bill Nicholas, Mark Berton, Ray “Mario” Dal Sasso, Jane Couvillion, Mickey Bergeron, Sheree Benoit, Jakie Stine, Pat Clark.

Jonathan Vandagriff, David Haney, Ron McPherson, Gene McCormick, Andre Robertson, Delle Bates, Gerald Beach, Ray Montagne, Wayne Outlaw, Carl Thibodeaux, Mike Bernard, Paul Mott, Kermit Richard, Ray Pousson, Charles Blalack, Dick Alexander, Jeff Dalton, Craig Corder, Pancho McGill, Roland Wolfford, Dave Maddox, Robin Brooks, Shirley Almazan, Buddy Withrow, Paul Vaughan, Vernon Myers, Billy Denham, Reggie Parker, Louis Willey, Clyde Davis, Bob Brown, Jerry Childress, Laurie Modisette, Bob Baptista, Jay Brown, David Williams, Russell Covington, Jerry Montgomery, Harold Gross, Russell Turkel, Larry Fisher, Steve Pesek, Charles Liggio, John Garrett, Brown Claybar, Larry Warner, Shelby May, Dickie Colburn, Joe Barrios, Virgis Benoit, Dwight Bickham, Howard Minor.

David Claybar, J.L. Vincent, Ron Theriot, Ross Smith, Dave Pederson, Peggy Vincent, Max Pachar, Jerome Standley, Sleepy Smith, Gwen Barton, Ron Sigler, Pat Brown, James Sanders, B.K. Ware, Leonard Brown, Billy Shults, Don Covington, Jeremy Hogg, Alicia Hebert, Reanna Morris, Bill Tillman, Ronnie Rost, Gay Richardson, Jim Turpin, Kelly Alford, Alan Whipkey, Jane Dunn, Ann Lieby, John Harrell, Max Staudt, Jessie Whitehead, Sweet Charlotte Tucker, Jim Graves, Jeff Wheatley, Moe Litton, Jack White, Glenn Hill, Maurice Mueschke, Billy Paul Withrow, John Young, Tommy Ewing, Ernie Dyer, Carroll Holt, Shane Johns, John Broussard, Denise Himel, Pat Fountain, Sid Caillavet, Paul Patin, Lona Vasquez.

Dennis Duhon, Jim Miller, Calvin Parker, Jimmy Sattler, Rodney Dove, Lawrence Hunt, Eddie Faulk, June Gunstream, Cornel Thompson, Sam Kittrell, Dick Behnke, Huel Fontenot, Paul Lorimer, Ronnie Burton, Mike Lovett, Robert “Woody” Wood, Vicky Walters, Leroy Breedlove, Mike White, Frank Skeeler, David Payne, John Hersey, J. D. Willis, Haazen Kenney, Bonnie Mingle, John Kimbrough, Wayne Peveto, Gene Alsandor, Bubba Lanning, Wayne Morris, Dale LeBlanc, Nelson Broussard, Sammy Owens, Heath Mouton, Harold Fuqua, Roger Hall, Joe Peery, Bob Hood, James Rigler, Robert Sims, Dexter Bassinger, Joe Sanders, Bill Modisette, Mark Oldham, Mackey Clasby, Vernon Collier, Michael Arnaud, Jay Ayers, Jeanette Cleaver, Ray Burch, Gerhard Hommel, Walter Landisch.

Jimmy Sims, Joe Ware, Roy Dunn, Eric Hinton, Debbie Fusilier, Penny Leleux, Les Patin, Debbie Buckalew, Ricky Trahan, Melinda Gipson, Jet Toohey, James Stringer, Alan Sanders, John Cooper, Glenn Toohey, Sam Lucia, Betty Derrick, Lon Craft, Margaret Peeples, Mike Abbott, Charles Gant, Oliver Seastrunk, Carl Himel, Earl Geis, Mike Leonard, Van Vandervoort, David Kosboth, Jack Burney, Brandon Landry, Randy Crouch, Ray Rogers, Gary Stelly, Pat Johnson, Andy Allen, Ray Conner, Keith Staudt, Louis McIntire, Brandon Fisher, Fred Zoch, Troy Burke, Bubba Brown, Johnny Trahan, David Clary, Joey Campbell, Robert Query, Gary Thibodeaux, Steve Mazzola, Tim Bonnin, Jay James, DeWitt Gipson, John Griffith, Howard Nelson, Randy Jarrell, Jimmy Jones, Joe Payne, Donald Moss, Betty Melton, Doug Nelms, Cecil Sylvester, Roy Knolley, Annabelle Stringer, Wade Smith, Shea Brown, Sam Ambers, John Raughton, Pat Leverne, James Scott, Ann Harner, Jenny Taylor, David Trahan, Donnie Shockley, Jr., John Crawford, Jim Gordon, Jim Colley, Dennis Doggett, Sue Rathburn, Keith Lyons, Wayne Franklin, Mandy Rogers, Terry Landry, Albert Gore, Betsy Phillips, Trent Cooper, Steve Toal, James Ray, Mike Hughes, Mark Magnuson, Gary Mulhollan, Miles Hall, Bobby Tanner, Jason Gipson, Jade Saucier, Georgia Corder, Ron Logan, Ken Manuel, Don Harmon, Sanford Lummus, Mary Frances Hartley, Hunter Sheridan, Lewis Sims, Tommy Carroll, Van Wade.

And a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS to my e-mail readers Dick and Gail Kazmar, Bobbie, Dick and Joe Wechter, Don and Linda Bivens, Karen and Brian Smith, Kate Butcher, Brock and Glenna Bult, Paul Groncki, Jim Rodda, Bobbie Earle, Wayne and Kaye Morris, Tony Ottati and for anyone I may have missed, especially you, my loyal readers who have been with Kaz’s Korner since its inception Sept. 12, 1966.