Jacobs writes book about having a child in prison

As Meri Elen Jacobs taught journalism at West Orange-Stark High School for more than 20 years, she also wrote and took photographs for local publications. Now that she's retired, she's written a book about a subject that she could not have imagined.

The book is "Navigating Prison from the Outside" with the subtitle "A practical and spiritual guide to help parents through the first few years of their child's lock-up."

Her son, Stevan Smith, was sent to prison in 2018 for intoxication manslaughter in a vehicle collision on Interstate 10. A Good Samaritan who stopped to help a disable car was killed, along with a 2-year-old girl riding with her parents in the car that broke down.

Smith had his 2-year-old daughter with him as his truck flipped over in the crash, though they were not hurt.

The accident left Jacobs in shock and embarrassment. Her faith in God helped her through the ordeal and the book helps document those feelings. Those feelings include "shame, blame, fear, and grief," Jacobs said.

"It could happen to anybody," she said. And she has learned lots of other parents with grown children have also had her worries, especially with the prevalence of alcohol and drug use.

"I lot of people that I talk to say it could have been them," she said.

But the psychological and spiritual toll on her was not the practical side of having to face the rigid rules and regulations of how a family can visit or communicate with their inmate.

As soon as she learned about the collision her son caused and knew he would be going to prison, she began to search for how she and his three children could deal with a loved one in the state penal system. The information was hard to gather. And that's why she wrote the book.

Already, she's planning to go to the state convention of the Texas Inmates Families Association support group where she will sell her book. The paperback book, available on Amazon, has a price of only $12.99. Jacobs said she kept the price low because she doesn't want to make money, she wants to help others.

She's also available for speaking and podcasts to spread the information, plus she is starting a local support group for parents of inmates that will be meeting Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. at Community Church on Martin Luther King Jr. Drive in Orange.

A lot of her friends have bought the book, which takes about an hour and a half to read, she said. The buyers who have family members in prison tell her they have been referring to the book and it's instructions over and over.

Stevan Smith is currently incarcerated at the Texas Department of Criminal Justice unit in Livingston. Jacobs goes to see her son once a week and his children, ages 17, 11, and 9 go two to three times a week.

She described the prison of having dress codes for visitors similar to the dress codes for high school students. No low-cut shirts, no short skirts or pants, no leggings, and shirt sleeves must be at least two inches long. People who don't follow those rules have to wear what Jacobs calls "the blue robe of shame, a loose covering the prison will make you wear if you want to go inside.

Visitors cannot bring cell phones in and they can only carry quarters as money to buy snacks for the prisoner, who can share them. Jacobs said her three grandchildren are now spending more "quality time" with their father because during their visits, all they can do is talk and eat snacks.

She said the prison sentence "really saved his life." Smith's father, Jacobs' ex-husband, was an alcoholic who died at an early age with causes related to drinking. Smith could have been going down the same path.

Prison has helped him stay sober. Jacobs said she has learned all kinds of contraband, including alcohol and drugs, can be found in prison, her son is staying away from them.

Because of his good behavior, he is housed in an inmate dormitory. If he is caught breaking rules with forbidden substances, he'll be sent to a jail cell. Plus, he is hoping to eventually get parole early.

Meri Elen Jacobs isn't relaxing after her retirement and bookwriting. She's keeping grandchildren, ages 15 months and 2 months, while their parents teach and coach. Another grandchild for her to watch is one the way, so she will soon be changing diapers for three grands.